Saturday, April 4, 2020

Identity and Calling Reflection Essays - Christianity, Religion

Identity and Calling Reflection I found it very hard to reflect on what I was passionate about this week, because as a student we get so preoccupied with upcoming midterms, assignments due, meetings to attend, and family to take care of. In my life there is not a lot of time for resting and pondering what I am passionate about, apart from a few times I get each week to myself. As an introvert I need time to recuperate from all of the social interaction during the day, so I make it a rule for myself that I do not do homework or really interact with anyone past 9 or 10pm, which might sound a little out there and unusual, but it really works for me. I get to watch TV, play my guitar, spend time with my family or spend time with God, and it helps me prepare for the next day. During these times I've been able to think of what brings me joy and satisfaction, and that is in spending time with my friends or family, talking about God's provision. It may sound overly spiritual or like I'm putting on a show, but just journaling to the Lord about my day and being able to share what God has been doing in my life and the life of my friends and family brings me so much joy. I am passionate about making others feel loved, and even more about people who are lost that get to hear the story of them being found in the Lord, and that any one and any situation is redeemable through him. I've seen a lot of friends who are simply dissatisfied with their lives because they don't have a father God who they can talk to, or a big brother in Jesus that they can look up to. They search for meaning in parties, having sex, getting a raise or putting others down to raise themselves up. The best part about Jesus is that we are not in charge of saving everyone, and us alone making the world a better place. Our only job is for us to say "yes" to the Lord when he has a favor for us, for us to be available and servant hearted towards him. And even better, he wants the best for us and he would never make us do anything we couldn't handle. There are many moments throughout the week where I feel hopeless, tired, overwhelmed and heartbroken. My heart feels most heartbroken for my grandma, who lives with us and just recently had a very bad fall and has lost the little motivation she had to live. It breaks my heart to see her lose her independence, and her ability to serve others, which before was the only thing keeping her going and keeping her smiling. It's very hard to watch a woman go from living on her own and taking care of her grandchildren, to her grandchildren taking care of her. She cannot so much as get off a chair on her own, and in the past few weeks my family has spent some nights just crying altogether, grieving for her. A very special gift that comes with being saved and believing in Jesus, is the hope we have as Christians of a beautiful afterlife, where my grandma will be pain free and dependent only on the Lord. Ironically, death is what my family hopes for for her, as morbid as it sounds. We sees her di scontent with her life, and her readiness for running into the father's arms in heaven. In this season I have begun to truly understand the meaning of a "celebration of life" at a funeral. I always thought it was an insensitive title for someone who has just died, like we are celebrating that they are finally gone. But for us, we really will celebrate with her as she gets to be with her husband again and with our good friend Jesus in heaven. So to conclude, I think what really brings me joy and a purpose, is being able to give people the news of hope. That we as Christians, as crazy as we look, get to be hopeful

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